yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Randomize
