return my video game
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
