i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
