And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
