I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize