another moral hangover. fuck.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize