Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
