xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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