Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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