Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
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