is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
