Who wears a wallet chain?!
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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