batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
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he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
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I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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