College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
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