they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i think i scared a bird with my dick
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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