is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
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judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
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You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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