i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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