Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize