That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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