So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
