I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
