youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
