Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
