i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
