she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
