She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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