Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
