check it out our google latitudes are spooning
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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