so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
