No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
