they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Randomize
