Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
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I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
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One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
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