she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize