how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize