I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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