I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
