Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
