I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
