I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
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Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
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Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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