I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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