is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
