The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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