What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
