He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize