i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
