why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
