we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
