Why are handjobs necessary in class?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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