the new term for farting is butt boxing.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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