I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
