I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
