singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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