He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
