when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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