I showed him my bush... on skype.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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